My 15 Seconds of Fame

Yes, I was one of those people I talk about while watching the Today show. You know, the ones in the background making complete idiots of themselves by jumping up and down trying to get on television? And it worked! We hit the pavement early one morning hoping to see Matt, Meredith and the gang. It seems my mom was the only one who saw me, so if anybody recorded Today on July 10th let me know!

Heaven AND Hell

For you faithful readers do I even have to explain what I mean by this? 

iPhone update: It's no secret my complete dissatisfaction with AT&T. Apple I love. The iPhone I love. But not AT&T. A long-time Verizon customer, I got out of my contract to move to AT&T when the iPhone came out. I just had to have one. And what a disaster that turned out to be. Keep in mind we don't have a landline. Anyway, instead of staying in a contract with AT&T where our phones did not work at home or at work or most everywhere we happened to be, we paid their ETF and said "kiss this". Say it with me, "AT&T SUX". I've digressed. We're very happy now, thank you very much.

After the big switch to Alltel ("come and get your love!") I knew a new iPhone was coming out, so I wanted to sell mine on ebay quickly, just to recoup some of the money we spent between buying the iPhone and cancelling our contracts. I listed it and the phone sold for $352, but unfortunately for me it ended on the day the new iPhone was announced for $199. Needless to say the dude who bought it didn't want it and didn't pay. He kept coming up with excuses about how my Paypal account wasn't letting him pay for it. He just didn't care that he entered into a legally-binding contract when he agreed to purchase the phone. And here I just paid a lot of $ to get out of a contract. Anyway, he put $20 in my Paypal account to cover the listing costs and we called it a day. I didn't report him 'cause I knew where he was coming from; I didn't agree, but I understood.

So let's try again. I knew $352 was a really good price to get for a used gen-1 iPhone, but I also knew some of the frustrations people were having with the gen-2 iPhone and the higher cost of the monthly plan. Whatever it sells for now will be more than if I keep waiting. So I listed it again and this time it went for $380!  Jackpot! I really played up the problems people were having with the newer iPhone. The bidding was fast and furious in the last couple of minutes. Having been burned the first time, I said I expected payment within 24 hours of the auction closing. I immediately sent an invoice to the winner. He outbid someone at the last minute, why not go ahead and send payment? Can you tell where this is going? After a week of waiting I was able to report to ebay that the 2nd buyer never paid. Then I had to wait another week for ebay to "investigate" before I could relist the phone yet again. I was so pissed. What is the deal with this phone and no one wanting to pay for it? I had the buyer's name and address in Atlanta, and have a friend there who's just crazy enough to go and beat the crap out of him. The thought did cross my mind. But no, I just sent a blistering email to the guy and ebay marked his account for non-payment. That'll teach him.

I relisted the phone again. If you've lost count this is the third time. I'm happy to report that it sold and WAS PAID FOR! It went for $325 which was disappointing, but at least the dude actually paid for it. Of course he gave me an unconfirmed address for shipping so he's probably going to say he never received it, but we'll see. I'll keep you posted. 

Now get this: the day after I shipped the phone to the buyer I got a notice from Paypal and an email from the 2nd guy who "bought" it saying he had to go to South America for a family emergency and had no access to the internet for 2 weeks and he's terribly sorry here's $380 could I please remove the negative feedback and non-payment mark and ship out the iPhone? It really pained me to refund that $, but I took great pride in telling him I couldn't do anything about the negative feedback, etc. All that's between him and ebay at this point. I mean come on, he outbid someone in the last minutes of the auction and he's telling me he had to leave for a family emergency before he could even complete the transaction. Maybe I will get my friend to pay him a visit.

You Filthy Animals

I always said my kids act like animals.

NYC: A Continuation

That picture cost me $3. I don't know why I didn't notice the little silver box on the ground that said "Pictures $3". Oh, well. I couldn't talk on the iPhone most of the time but at least I could take pictures with it.

So yesterday I went on at great length about my love affair with NYC. So how is it that the Big Apple has become the place where I will never live? What happened to make the city I was sure I was destined to live in the city I only want to visit? Well, nothing happened, really. Or specifically, aging happened and children happened and reality happened. Priorities shifted. I can't deal with all the things that used to draw me to NY. It's noisy, smelly, dirty and way too crowded. I've lived the quite country life for the past 4 years. River Street on Saturday night is too crowded for me. I can't stand car horns. I can't stand the smell of horse piss around Central Park, or the way people are in such a hurry all the time. What kind of jobs do all these people have? I don't understand how the island hasn't sunk under the weight of it all.

Or maybe I just can't stand that I never took the leap and moved there, and now it seems even farther out of reach. I'm always in awe of my brides and grooms who live in NYC, and always gush like a dork about how much I've always wanted to live there but it's so expensive and how I'm so jealous blah blah blah. 

So maybe I was too abrupt in saying I'll never live in NYC. What's to be afraid of? Amy's game for moving. Tree-lined Greenwich Village is my most favorite part of Manhattan, but Brooklyn is nice and a tad more affordable. Probably not as crowded. CPW and the Upper East Side are probably out. I hear Hell's Kitchen is the new up-and-coming part of town. City-dwellers migrate away to start families, but I think what better place to raise a family than in the city where so many more opportunities exist? 

NYC: The Beginning

As far back as I can remember I've wanted to live in NYC. That's where I have to live before I die or my life will not have been complete. I had grand plans of being the next Annie Leibovitz and shooting for Vanity Fair or Cartier-Bresson and wandering around shooting street scenes with a Leica . My freshman year in college I went home with a friend who lived in NJ for Thanksgiving. Over the holiday we took the train into Penn Station in Manhattan. It was a whirlwind. The Christmas season had just kicked off. We went to the top of the WTC and I was too scared to leave the elevators (remember I don't do heights). We went to China Town and it was just like out of a movie. It was night-time and lights were strung above our heads. It was really cold and steam was coming up from the vents in the streets, which were packed with people. We ate at some hole-in-the-wall just as crowded. It only lasted a few hours but it was magical.

Years later Amy and I had the chance to go back. Amy's cousin graduated and Amy's aunt wanted to take her to NY for a graduation present. We had just gotten back from our honeymoon in Mexico and turned around and headed for NY. How jet-setting we were!  Of course that was BC. Our hotel was right in Times Square and I remember coming in from the airport and seeing the skyline from the car, just like you see in those big opening panoramic sweeps in movies. I was beside myself! I couldn't believe I was here and it was daytime, and I would be here for almost a week! It was the moment I had been waiting for for years, finally here.

And it was everything I had hoped it would be! We did all the tourist stuff. Double-decker bus tours, museums, Statue of Liberty, we saw Grease on Broadway (it was either Stockard Channing or Rosie O'Donnell playing "Rizzo"). I don't know how we paid for it all. The first night we were there we wanted to eat somewhere local so we went to Broadway Joe's. I'll never forget it. We spent $80 for an undercooked steak and old baked potato. That was most of the money we took with us. And that money was from when we got married, 'cause we both waited tables in Atlanta and didn't have any money. Anyway, it was terrible food, and I don't know how we survived the next few days. Amy's mom was with us and she bought us sweatshirts when it turned cold and rainy. We still have a poster we bought in Central Park called "Happy Dog." We literally had $0.26 left in the bank after we withdrew money to buy it. But we just had to have it. I mean come on, food or art?

These were the days before a Starbucks on every block, so coffee was a little harder to come by. But we found a little place with coffee and croissants and headed out for a day of sightseeing. And a pigeon promptly crapped on my shoulder and right into my coffee. In my present-day cynicism I'm sure that was some kind of sign, but I was young and dumb then.

Fast-forward another year and we're back in NY. A new restaurant was opening on Long Island and Amy was sent there for a month to train the staff. I took a week off of school and work and headed up. That was in the days of ValueJet if anyone remembers that. I think a one-way flight from Atlanta to NYC was $45 or some other ridiculous price. Of course, one of their airplanes blew up so I guess it's probably better they're not around anymore. Anyway, we stayed on Long Island and just took the train into the city. While she worked I spent my time roaming around Manhattan taking pictures. I truly hit my stride during that time, and produced some of my best work. A good bit of my school portfolio is made up of shots I took during that trip. That was back in the days of film and I've never had any of it scanned, so too bad I can't post any of those shots. I immersed myself in taking great pictures. I took time to design, to frame and focus, set the aperture and shutter speed. I had "the eye." I could see what would make a good picture. I know someone out there knows what I'm talking about. It really is something you lose if you don't use. Now it's all automated and I don't even have to think about any of that. I've often said I peaked as a fine art photographer then and it's all been downhill since. But hey, there can only be one Cartier-Bresson, right?

A Hell of a Town

Hope I haven't lost anyone along the way. I started the vacation post a long time ago and we've had several detours, but we've finally made it to NY!

I will never, ever drive in NYC again. We arrived during afternoon rush hour. All the streets seemed to be one-way streets. No problem, except that during rush hour right turns are not allowed. So how the h#*! are we supposed to get to our hotel if we can't make a right or left turn? And why, pray tell, does everyone feel the need to start blowing their horn as soon as the light turns green? Give a man a chance to take his foot off the brake! 

Many near-accidents, lots-o-cussing and a couple of illegal turns later we pull up to our hotel and basically throw the keys at the valet dude. Now it's $90 per night to park. DC seems like a bargain. 

And of course we look like the Clampets, and not just because we've been driving for hours. We always book hotels through Priceline, so we never really know what kind of hotel we're getting. We prefer either ** or ***. Something nice, but not too nice. * doesn't usually appeal to us because they usually don't have pools, and ****  always has at least 5 different people who want to help carry our things or open the door or settle us into our room. That's just not us. We are perfectly capable of carrying our own luggage, etc. and we can use the kids as pack mules. And despite waiting tables for years I just have a problem with tipping everybody in sight. Why do I have to tip the valet guy when I just spent $180 to park and never once had anyone bring me my car except to leave. Sorry, not going to happen. It's just an uncomfortable situation we try to avoid by not staying in really fancy places. 

Well of course this hotel was one of those kinds of places, and in typical Clampet style we kept a death-grip on our luggage and declined to hand it over to anyone else.

FIRST STOP: the M&M store in Times Square. You know my love of M&Ms, but why in the middle of Times Square, arguably the most expensive real estate in the country? At least it was near the Swatch store. I've always been a Swatch person, but even I had to draw the line at $210. When did that happen?

Good news, though. The iPhone is working so we got directions to wherever we wanted to go!

2 in 1

Jarrod's birthday is in July and Abigail's birthday is in September, so we decided to combine their parties this year. With all the stress and work involved who needs 2 parties? This year turned out to be the best yet. We rented a giant inflatable water slide that kept everyone occupied, and when they got tired of climbing up and down the slide we had the tree house and zip line to play on. 

We also had 2 cakes in 1. Jarrod wanted "World Peace" on his side. I've talked before about him giving away our money to every homeless person he sees. He's destined to be some kind of advocate for the less fortunate. When he's made his fortune in medicine or law he can become a philanthropist. We've already told him this starving artist crap is for the birds, he has to choose a career for money not personal satisfaction.

Both kids had 1 friend stay the night. Normally Abigail sleeps in Jarrod's closet. She has this thing about clowns (think the clown from "It"-- yes I know I shouldn't let her watch those kinds of things but it's better than "Gossip Girl" right?) and Jarrod has a dream catcher in his room that she thinks stops her from dreaming about clowns. Never mind that she got a dream catcher when we were in DC that's hanging over her bed, she still sleeps in his closet (where her dream catcher was moved). So when we told her that she and her friend couldn't fit in the closet together (she planned on sleeping there, believe me) they decided to sleep in the floor at the foot of her bed, all nice and comfy.

Welcome to My World!

Isn't she precious?

My Guilty Pleasure

I get that I am so not the demographic Gossip Girl is going for, and I have no illusions that I'm young and hip, but this show is like the updated version of 90210 just dirtier. And speaking of, I'll watch the new 90210 once, but there's no way it'll ever be as good as the original. Why mess up something as sacred as that?

The Gang's All Here!

Payton, Abigail, Parker & Jarrod.

All the grandkids! They hardly ever get together at the same time, so it's always exciting when it happens.

Lake Retreat

Last weekend we spent at Lake Cherokee in SC. The whole family was there: mom and dad, my sister and her kids and Amy and our heathens (and little Brucester, too). It was very relaxing, just the kind of vacation I've been looking for -- one with nothing to do but take it easy. Amy and the kids stayed on the dock fishing, dad stayed outside trying to hide his smoking from mom untangling fishing line, mom cooked some freakin' awesome food and I literally didn't do anything except read and play Sudoku. My sister slept and texted. Oh, and we drank mojitos. We started the cocktail hour early Saturday, my sister reminding us "It's 5:00 somewhere." 

And it was my mom's birthday weekend! She turned 60 years young, but she'll tell you she feels about 100. Like I said, she cooked pretty much the whole weekend, which was perfectly fine by me. I'm sure everyone thinks their mom is the best cook in the world, but mine really is. She doesn't cook fancy stuff like Martha Stewart, she cooks more like Paula Deen. But mom could give Paula some lessons, really. Her food is not for the faint of heart, though, as it would probably stop the heart of someone not used to all the cholesterol and salt. But it is delicious, and I love her for always making sure I'm fed when I go home. 

Thanks to John Gossett for putting together an awesome slide show DVD for mom and to Molly Stone for another amazing cake. They literally were "icing on the cake" for a great weekend.

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Blog...

Just a quick break from our continuing vacation saga to wish my mom a late Happy 60th Birthday! We just got back from spending a long weekend fishing by the lake. More pics to follow!

Last Day in DC

Our hotel seemed to be in a residential area of DC. We found a great little Latin restaurant one night because Abigail was whining for nachos because we would not buy her the chicken taquitos from the 7/11. It was across the street from a Whole Foods market. It looked like a cool, trendy neighborhood. Definitely somewhere we could live. Except we would have no money because Jarrod would give every penny away to the homeless. He is so tender-hearted and is just grief-stricken when we don't give money to everyone on the street. I worked in downtown Atlanta for years and became very cynical about people begging for money. Hopefully that won't rub off on Jarrod. If anyone knows of a place needing volunteers to feed the homeless let me know. Jarrod would devote a lot of time trying to save everybody.

There was this one guy in a wheelchair going backwards up the street with all the rest of the cars and buses. The guy had a death-wish. I mean, he's sitting in the chair and pushing with his feet and cutting in front of cars just going down the road. Amy, always looking for the good in people felt sympathy for him. I mean, to see him it seemed like this poor, downtrodden, homeless man in a wheelchair is just trying to get by in life while everybody just goes on with their lives. I knew he was crazy from the get-go. Especially when some other crazy dude walks up to him and they start fighting in the middle of the street. The guy in the wheelchair stands up and goes after the other guy and starts beating on him in the middle of traffic. It was really hilarious, I wish I had a video of it.

The next morning we headed out for NYC. I was driving and that's when I knew I would sell the cars immediately if we ever did move to a big city again. On the news a woman on a bike had just been run over by a garbage truck that morning, so I guess walking is the way to go. 

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Here Comes the Rain

Much to my surprise and delight most of the museums in DC are free. The Smithsonian was our first stop and it was packed. Have I mentioned I don't really like crowds? I ended up getting separated from Amy and the kids when I wandered off taking pictures, but surprisingly I had 1 bar of service inside the museum so we were able to call each other. 

There was a photography exhibit about oceans and aquatic life, and it has always been a dream of mine to become SCUBA certified and take pictures underwater, so that was particularly inspiring. The Hope Diamond was cool to see too.

We were ready to head back to our hotel (about 20 blocks away) when the bottom dropped out. I came prepared, though. We go to Disney World quite a bit and I had bought some of those plastic rain ponchos. We had never used them and for some reason I though it would be smart to pack them on this trip. Good planning. I thought we had it made, except they were made out of the thinnest plastic you can imagine. They all ripped just coming out of the box and were useless. We had to ride the rain out since I didn't want my camera and phone soaked (see, another reason not to carry a big camera around on vacation).

The next day we headed out again. I really wanted to go back to Ford's Theater. After our Washington trip last year I read a book about the hunt for John Wilkes Booth after Lincoln's assassination. I even went to see the author of that book, James Swanson, at the Savannah Book Festival earlier this year. I regretted that I had not payed attention on our first visit to Ford's Theater. I wanted to really look around this time and see the box where Lincoln sat and the stairway leading up to the box and how far Booth had to jump on to the stage to escape. Of course Ford's was closed for renovations. 

So Amy took the kids into the International Spy Museum while I headed across the street to the National Portrait Gallery. Now who do you think I ran into wandering around the Civil War exhibit? James Swanson. Of course I didn't say anything to him, just kinda stalked him. There was a special Lincoln exhibit, so I guess he was there to see that. And the coolest thing about that exhibit were the photos. Actual photos of President Lincoln. That's really interesting to try to wrap your head around. And actual pictures of the people who conspired to kill him hanging from the gallows. Those pictures were teased in the book but weren't included, so it was cool to actually see them. 

Portsmouth, VA to Washington, DC

As you can tell from the pictures there's not much going on in Portsmouth. Granted, though, it was late when we arrived and we were all pretty tired from being in the car all day. But still, our hotel (thankfully NOT a no-tell motel) was right on the water (think River Street) and there was nothing going on. 

My insomnia really acted up on this trip so I was up about 4:30 the next morning and waited for the tiniest peak of light to head out with camera in tow. I was all set to wander around this new city and get some great images, just like a real travel photographer would do. At this point you can refer back to the first sentence. I should also tell you that there is apparently a large homeless population in Portsmouth, so that kinda made me a little nervous wandering around at daybreak alone. I did tightly wrap the camera strap around my hand in preparation of using it as a weapon if necessary. Luckily I didn't have to hurt anybody.

After Amy and the kids woke up we got on the road to DC. Not wanting to miss any opportunities, after we checked into our hotel we headed out sight-seeing. The kids wanted to drive instead of walk, but once we valeted the car that was it for driving in DC. Besides, valet was $30 a night, so I wanted to get my money's worth. Which I guess making the valet guy bring the car back and forth would've been the best way to get my money's worth, but that would just be cruel. And who wants to deal with all the car horns blaring at you all the time while you're driving?